Mail Order Boyfriend
by MarcusLaurence
Summary: Jaune spends his post-college life working at the desk, breaking his back and pulling overtime to stay in his boss's favor. At the end of the week, he needs a break - and he's desperate enough to get it. A Martial Arcs romance story in 10,000 words or less.
1. Chapter 1

**That's right, I'm still alive. I've been in Japan for the past year, and just now decided to return to writing. I'll be using this piece to warm up my engines, along with some other shorter things that I want to cross off my list. Once I feel like I've cleaned off the rust, it'll be back to longer and more complicated stuff. That said, I hope you enjoy this!**

* * *

Jaune heaved a wistful sigh, stepping onto the street. A misting of rain fell from the night sky, drowning out and replacing the music that pulsed from the nightclub as the door slammed behind him. Left alone with his thoughts, he walked into the center of the street and gazed upward, halfheartedly considering just staying there until something interesting happened. When nothing happened after a minute, he heaved a second sigh and stared at the club again.

After a hard week of work and sorely in need of a drink, he had decided to step outside his comfort zone and go to a nightclub in the seedier part of town. Although he didn't really have a goal in mind he hoped to at least have an interesting conversation or two, anything to take his mind off the desk work overtime he'd pulled to get into his asshole boss's good graces. At least he'd be able to make new friends, and if he got lucky, just maybe, he'd be able to hit it off with a pretty girl. . .

But it seemed that luck simply wasn't in his cards that night, as everybody he talked to showed only minimal interest. Likely because he'd arrived in what was very clearly his work outfit and made every conversation he'd started sound more like a business transaction than a chance encounter. Each time he was left alone at the bar with a palm pressed to his forehead. _Too formal!_ He reminded himself countless times, but to no avail. He couldn't avoid the fact that the problem was _him,_ and that hurt far more than the pain of rejection.

The club doors opening brought Jaune back to the present as a couple left the club arm in arm laughing, pausing while the taller of the two pulled out an umbrella to shield them from the rain. Walking close together, they left; an insult to Jaune's injury.

"Well, nothing to do but cut my losses I guess," he muttered to nobody in particular, pushing his wet bangs back and out of his face. He had to walk a good mile before he made it to a main road, by which time he was thoroughly soaked. The taxi driver that picked him up looked none too happy to get his car soaked, and charged extra for the inconvenience. Having long since given up on having a good night, Jaune handed the Lien over with no complaint.

The walk from the taxi to his apartment door seemed more drab than usual, exhaustion and regret shattering his youthful rose-colored lenses. The trace amounts of alcohol in his system made fumbling for his keys that much more frustrating.

As he was about to step inside, a colorful scrap of paper caught his eye. It was half submerged in a puddle, the ripples of raindrops echoing off its surface. He deliberated on the doorstep for a good ten seconds before caving in, walking back into the rain to further examine it. Picking it up by the corner, he was surprised to find that it was not attached to a greater amount of magazine, but was merely the corner of one of the pages. He could barely make out the printed words, which concluded with a phone number.

" _Down on your luck? Feeling lonely? Call this number for the companion of your dreams!"_

Jaune let out a wry laugh, throwing the paper back into the puddle. _As if. The gods must be laughing at me._ The door to his apartment closed behind him with a gentle click, the rain continuing to pour down as he stripped off his wet clothes and brushed his teeth. He collapsed onto his bed minutes later, uncomfortable yet unwilling to move.

Sleep refused to take him; he tossed and turned, yet each time he only felt more and more uncomfortable. Trying to clear his mind in vain, the only thought that made itself within the swirling tumult was the scrap of paper he'd picked up from the puddle. After another hour of sleeplessness he stood with an exasperated growl and padded out into the rain in his pajamas.

It being 1 in the morning, he would've looked the part of an insane person, fishing around in a puddle for a scrap of paper in the rain had he been seen. Luckily, he fished out the scrap just a moment later, shaking it off on the way back into his apartment. The text had become only more faded with the wash of the rain, yet the phone number at the end was still legible - Jaune pulled out his scroll and dialed it before he could have second thoughts.

The call connected after three rings, the voice which answered a low feminine sounding one. "Your call has been received, may I have your name please?" Jaune stood dumb for a minute before answering.

"Um, I was actually hoping to ask a few questions about this, what are-"

"Name _please,_ " the voice responded, intolerant of his speaking.

"Jaune Arc?"

"Thank you Mr. Arc. Your request has been filed." The line went dead a second later, leaving Jaune alone, face illuminated with the blue glow from the screen. He considered calling again to get answers, but something made him think that the conversation would go just as the first had. With little afterthought, he dropped the scroll onto his bedside table and collapsed onto his bed. This time, sleep took him instantly.

* * *

The next week passed in a blur of paperwork, angry supervisors, a constant headache and an even worse ache in his lower back. While it payed decently, pushing papers for the Schnee Dust Company took just as much in energy, leaving him tired and malcontent at the end of the work day. How he envied those with fun jobs, the kind where they could honestly say "I never work a day in my life." No, the SDC was far from one of those jobs, a fact that had become increasingly clear after he first joined the ranks of the mega-corporation. It didn't even work with his degree field; he had studied Environmental Management and Resource Conservation. All things told, the SDC stood in direct opposition to his beliefs, and yet. . .

And yet, by the time Friday rolled around, Jaune was still an employee, free for the whole weekend thanks to the mercy of a company holiday.

A crowded bus ride home did nothing to improve his tired mood. Already planning to spend the afternoon doing nothing but relaxing, he walked the rest of the way to his apartment. A quick key turn later, and he closed the door behind him, throwing off his jacket.

"Welcome home Jaune."

"Thanks," he responded on instinct, before realizing that he lived alone. "What what the-?"

He searched the room lightning fast with his eyes, until they alighted on a man sitting cross-legged on the bed. _His_ bed.

The man had long black hair sporting a pink streak, which he wore loose. It cascaded around his face - which struck Jaune as exceptionally elegant - and across his lean shoulders, which were bare. His eyes matched the pink streak of his hair, and he stared at Jaune with a raised eyebrow and a slight smile. All things considered he was incredibly beautiful, graceful, and cute. Jaune pushed those thoughts aside as fast as he could, focusing on the crux of the problem. "Who are you?"

"I'm Lie Ren, but just call me Ren. If you don't mind?" He phrased the statement like a question, tilting his head slightly at the end. His hair followed suit, rolling over his shoulder.

"Right, but who _are_ you?" Jaune frowned, too nervous to put his keys away or take off his shoes. "How did you get in?"

"You mean, you don't know? But you're the one who called, aren't you?"

Jaune's head spun. "Called? I. . . called? What are you talking about?"

"Oh, don't tell me you don't remember?" Jaune shook his head in response. "You called and requested a companion just last week."

A million thoughts raced through Jaune's head at once. What had he gotten himself into? Why was the "companion" a boy? Who was Lie Ren? And how had he gotten inside his apartment?

In the end, he found his mouth couldn't quite form words, and stuck out his hand to fill the silence. "I'm. . . Jaune. But I guess you knew that. . . huh?"

Ren smiled and reached out with both his hands, startling Jaune with their warmth and softness. "That's right! It's nice to meet you, Jaune."

"Yeah, you too," he responded, still bewildered. As Ren let his hand go, he felt a small flash of disappointment.

 _Calm down, Jaune,_ he reassured himself, _Ren doesn't seem like a dangerous person, let's just see how this plays out. We can work out this misunderstanding and hopefully this won't be a huge issue._

Another glance into Ren's eyes brought back unbidden thoughts.

 _Why do I think he's so cute?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's chapter 2, thanks as always for reading!**

* * *

Jaune took stock of himself in the mirror, running his hand through his blond locks for not the first time. After finding the surprisingly cute Lie Ren on his bed when he came home from work, he hadn't been sure how to react. To his credit, Ren had taken his confusion in stride, introducing himself and otherwise not minding Jaune's hesitance. For the last few minutes, Jaune had taken refuge in the bathroom, giving the excuse that he wanted to shower after working through the day. In reality, he had merely turned the shower on and then sat down, trying to make sense of his current situation.

As it was though, there wasn't much to make sense of. Ren's appearance and demeanor had all been very matter-of-fact, very no-nonsense. Almost as if this was a completely normal occurrence. _Well,_ Jaune reminded himself with a grimace, _in Ren's world, this likely is pretty normal._

A twinge of regret ran through his mind at his lie, but he nevertheless stuck his head into the shower and soaked his hair before turning it off. "So Ren," he began as he stepped back into the main room, "I was thinking about it while I showered, but what happens from here? Like, what's the plan? Is there a plan?"

"Well, I'm here to be a companion to you, so. . ." Ren trailed off, leaving more questions than answers in his head.

"Is this like a. . ." Jaune blushed and looked away, "a sex work thing?" Ren laughed, rocking back for a moment.

"Listen Jaune, whatever "companion" might mean to you, we can decide later. It isn't set in stone, nor should it be. What I'm saying is, we've got the luxury of time."

"Ah," Jaune responded, immediately cagey, "I'm not sure I can afford this though. Like, any of it. This all seems sort of out of my league." Ren merely waved a hand dismissively.

"I can assure you that money isn't an issue."

"Even though you say that. . ."

Ren sighed and stood, meeting Jaune's eyes earnestly. "I'm not sure what's on your mind, but I promise you Jaune, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be, and I won't do anything I'm not comfortable with."

"That actually does take a lot off my mind, thanks," Jaune met Ren's smile with one of his own.

"So why don't we go out for a while this afternoon? We could grab a coffee and get to know each other a little bit better. You're off work, right?" Ren added as an aside.

"Coffee huh? Yeah, that sounds good to me."

Even with Ren's reassurance that "companion" could mean anything, Jaune failed to scrub the idea of a hostess or dating service from his mind. After all, what kind of service would advertise using that wording? "So we'll go get coffee and learn more about each other? Sounds like date." He watched Ren's reaction closely, trying to glean information.

Ren shrugged, not bothering to confirm or deny his statement, "Sure."

Although he was nervous at first, the car ride over to Jaune's coffee shop-restaurant of choice was pleasant. The afternoon skyline of Vale flew by, the two of them rolling down the windows to combat the sun's heat.

As he parked the car, Jaune couldn't help let a wry smile cross his face. _I can't say I didn't get what I wanted. My life suddenly got very interesting!_ As they approached the front of the restaurant, Jaune held open the door. "After you." If his life were suddenly getting interesting, he'd might as well step out of his comfort zone and try new things. He'd never been on a date with a guy before (or even considered it), but perhaps now was the time to start.

The distinction between the two of them became immediately clear through their orders; Jaune opted for a strong and sweet latte - a staple drink he'd found after his third year at the SDC, combining his love for sweets with the necessity of caffeine - while Ren chose a black tea from the list of Mistralian imports. The departure of the waitstaff brought their attention to each other, Jaune feeling somewhat naked without a menu to hide behind. To his relief, Ren immediately filled the silence.

"I suppose a more formal introduction is in order," he began, "I usually don't meet new people by breaking and entering, after all."

"If you got coffee as a reward every time, you could almost make a job out of it," Jaune laughed, "but I'm glad I got to meet you anyway. My life isn't too interesting lately, so I appreciate you shaking things up. In a good way, I mean!"

"You work for the Schnee Dust Company right? I imagine that kind of job can get tedious."

Jaune groaned, facepalming dramatically. "You don't know the half of it. I work directly under the boss of the Vale branch, which means I have to deal with his crap all the time."

"Yikes," Ren whistled.

"But, things are looking up," Jaune continued, his expression becoming lighter. "It sucks but it pays well, I won't have to stick around for more than a couple years. Since I've been working since college, I've had some time to grow savings."

"Oh, did you go to Beacon for college?" Ren asked, receiving a nod. "I did too, what did you study?"

"Environmental Management and Resource Conservation, but you wouldn't know it from my current work. But enough about me, what about you? Tell me a bit about yourself."

Their conversation was briefly interrupted by the arrival of their drinks and some small treats they had decided on earlier. Ren took a measured sip of his tea before speaking. "Well, I graduated four years ago from Beacon, and I studied Journalism and Environmental Change, although I think I'm in the same boat as you in regards to my degrees not influencing my job much."

Jaune paused mid-gulp and put his coffee down. "I've been meaning to ask you about that actually. Your job, what is it exactly? How did you get it?"

Ren didn't answer immediately, tracing his finger around the rim of his teacup. "I'll be honest here, I can't talk too much about it. However, I _can_ tell you that's it's probably not what you think it is."

"What am I supposed to think it is?"

"I don't think I'll try putting words in your mouth," Ren chuckled. "Long story short, It's a job I picked up sometime after college since I wasn't exactly swimming in money, and it's treated me very well. I won't lie, I lead an alternate lifestyle."

"Now I'm just more curious!"

"Let me stick around and you may just find out," Ren winked back.

* * *

After coffee, the two of them returned to Jaune's apartment just as the sun set. Having no plans for dinner, Jaune had offered to cook mac and cheese (refusing to admit that he didn't know how to cook anything else), to which Ren had happily accepted. Ren made himself comfortable on a stool at the counter while Jaune worked in the kitchen, ungracefully banging pots and pans about.

"So where do you live?" Jaune wondered, curious as to how late Ren was planning to stay. Truth be told he didn't mind - he'd truly enjoyed his time with the man - but he wasn't so eager to make a late-night drive to take him home.

"Oh, I don't have a living situation currently," Ren answered nonchalantly. The blond paused, unsure of how to answer.

"You mean, you're homeless?" Realizing the rudeness of his question, he immediately attempted to backtrack. "Ah I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. But do you really not have a place to stay?"

"No offense taken, and not at the moment, no," Ren answered, still carefree. "But if me staying here is an issue, I'd be happy to get a hotel. . ."

Jaune glanced at the clock before shaking his head. "Don't worry, I'm happy to let you stay here. You can use my bed! But first things first, dinner is ready."

"This looks wonderful, thank you so much," Ren said. "You're a kind person Jaune, I'm glad I met you." Jaune scratched the back of his head nervously at the compliment.

"Well you can hardly mess up mac and cheese, but thanks. I'm glad I've at least made a good first impression. For once," he tacked on at the end. Ren didn't respond, having taken his first bite. The two ate slowly, taking their time and making small jokes all the while.

After they'd finished dinner, Jaune took the dishes away and led Ren to the room. "Come on, I'll show you the sleeping arrangements. When they entered the bedroom, the problem became immediately clear. In the ensuing silence Jaune cleared his throat. "I don't think the bed is bed enough for the two of us."

"It's fine Jaune, I don't mind sharing."

"But like, it's _really_ small. It's a twin."

"It's up to you to decide," Ren finally said. "I'm happy with whatever you choose."

"Then I'll sleep on the floor." When Ren looked like he was about to protest, Jaune held up a hand to silence him. "Don't worry, the carpet is comfy and I have tons of extra blankets. It'll be like a sleepover!" Ren laughed at that, the smile lingering on his face.

After they'd gotten comfortable and turned out the lights, with only the gentle glow of the moon filtering in through the window, Jaune spoke out.

"Hey Ren?"  
"What is it Jaune?"

"I'm glad I got to meet you. I don't know you well yet, but you seem like a good person."

The sound of blankets shifting came before his response. "And I you, Jaune. Goodnight."

"Yeah, goodnight."


	3. Chapter 3

**One per day, as that's what keeps the doctors away~**

* * *

Although Jaune loved the concept of sleeping in, in reality his body had been unfortunately trained over the years of working at the SDC to wake up no later than six every morning, before the sun rose. Try as he might, the best he ever managed was 7:30, which at that point, what _was_ the point?

Perhaps owing to the craziness of the previous day however, Jaune didn't wake up until the sun shone through the window, sleeping past his alarm and past his two backup alarms. When he finally opened his eyes and reached for his scroll, the clock read an astounding 8:30, and his heart rate doubled in fear before he reminded himself that it was Saturday. Then he realized that he was on the floor, and the events of last night came back to him in full force, the shock of them registering as a physical shock as he sat up quickly, his heart rate redoubled. It was a motion he immediately came to regret, as his back muscles twinged and he fell back to the floor with a loud groan. Sleeping on the floor had not been good for him; Jaune resigned himself to the fact that he was getting older.

"Jaune?" Ren's voice echoed into the bedroom from the kitchen, along with an incredibly heavenly smell which hadn't graced his nose in years. _Pancakes._

"Morning Ren," he answered, muscles twinging in protest once again as he tried to lean up.

"Come on out, I'm making pancakes for us." The way he had used the word "us" stuck in Jaune's still fuzzy morning mind as strangely domestic, before he shook the thought away.

"Thanks so much, give me just a minute." Ren hummed in response while Jaune tried yet again to stand, this time slumping helplessly against the bed frame, not quite making it to his knees. After a few more minutes of this, he sighed and swallowed his pride. "Hey Ren? I think I must've slept on my back funny last night - I can't really get up." His cheeks burned crimson when Ren poked his head in and saw him helplessly sprawled on the floor.

"Oh no, I told you we should've shared the bed," he chastised gently. "Why don't you let me give you a backrub? It'll help you relax your muscles, at least enough to get you into a warm shower."

Jaune laughed nervously, considering his options. The fact that he was only in his boxers did not escape his mind. "Um, yes please. Sorry about my state of. . . undress."

"It doesn't bother me," Ren replied, waiting for Jaune to roll onto his stomach before straddling him. "My hands might be cold, my apologies in advance."

Jaune gasped as Ren's icy hands made contact with the bare skin of his shoulders. "I'm sorry!" Ren apologized, pulling his hands away.

"You've been baking, how are your hands so cold?!" He could feel Ren shrug above him. "I think I'm ready now, go ahead."

Jaune took a deep breath in as Ren's hands touched down once more, this time managing to stay silent. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah you're good," Jaune reassured, "and thanks, by the way. I appreciate the help."

"Well, I can't just leave you here, how would you eat the pancakes I made?" Ren began gently rubbing his hands up and down Jaune's spine, pressing on either side with his fingertips.

"Right. . ." Jaune trailed off, unwilling to admit that he'd eaten food while sprawled on the floor quite recently. _Better to leave that unsaid._

Conversation dwindled between them as Ren began pressing harder, alternating between using his palms and his fingertips to press into muscles, tracing their natural lines across Jaune's back. He canvassed his entire body, working the knots until nothing remained beneath his touch but sensitive skin, paying particular attention to his shoulders - which he kneaded hard enough to elicit embarrassed moans from the blond - and his spine, which Ren attended to with a gentler touch. Nearly ten minutes passed in this paradoxically comfortable yet uncomfortable silence, until Ren sat back with a huff, massaging his hands. "I don't know if I can do much more for you. At this point, you can either get up or you can't."

"Thank you so much," Jaune said, keenly aware of the sudden cold on his back as Ren removed his weight. "I'm sure any issues I could have now are purely the fault of faulty genetics. Do you mind helping me up though?"

Ren assisted him by the arm, and this time Jaune was able to get to his feet with much less trouble. Though his back still ached, it at least allowed him to stand - though he leaned into Ren for support. The black-haired beauty was obviously stronger than he appeared; he had no trouble supporting Jaune.

He was lift-carried to the bathroom next, and Ren left him to his privacy as he showered. The sat on the edge of the tub at first, letting the warm water run across his sore back, the warmth reminding him of how Ren had been touching him just a minute ago. He couldn't help it - something about back rubs had always struck him as a sensual and almost erotic act, one that took place between those who were more than familiar with each other's bodies. He huffed and stood in the full stream of the water, brushing his thoughts aside, before stopping.

 _Why shouldn't I think of that? Why am I trying to stop myself? Just because Ren's a guy?_ While he'd never considered being with a man in that way, he found his mind wandering around the idea, _entertaining_ it. The more he thought about it, the more he decided that he needed to think about it _less._ The thought from yesterday at coffee came again to his mind.

 _If my life is suddenly getting interesting, I might as well step out of my comfort zone and try new things._

He stood in the water, moving his hands slowly closer and closer to his waistline. _There's nothing wrong with what I'm feeling._

A knock on the door nearly made him slip and fall - he resorted to grabbing the shower curtain to keep his balance. "Shit!"

"Jaune? Are you okay?" Ren's voice came through the door. "You've been in for a while, I just wanted to check on you, since your back was giving you trouble."

"Oh, uh, yeah! I'm fine!" he called back, pink shading his face and ears. "Everything's A-okay in here!"

"Let me know if you need anything," came the reply, and Jaune was left alone once more.

 _I really need to stop zoning out._

* * *

As it turned out, Ren was an excellent cook. Despite Jaune's delay in making it to the table, the pancakes were no less warm, fluffy, and hadn't yet become soggy with syrup. When asked, Ren admitted that he'd gone to the store down the street to buy ingredients, yet when Jaune tried to pay him back, he refused. "Please don't worry about it, I enjoy cooking," he said.

Once they'd finished with breakfast, they teamed up and did the dishes, with Jaune washing and Ren on drying duty. Every few minutes Jaune would have to direct Ren to the right cupboard to put away bowls or plates, but he found the whole process enjoyable, as did Ren, if his light humming was anything to go by. They finished just at the turn of the afternoon.

This time, Jaune was ready with a plan. "Hey Ren, I don't know what your schedule looks like, but if you're free we could head to the park? What're your thoughts?" Ren happily agreed, and they found themselves walking down the street a minute later. The park was only five minutes away from Jaune's apartment, but the walk took ten on account of the relaxed and meandering pace they set. That was partly Ren's fault, who apologetically insisted on visiting the flowers that grew in people's gardens, taking pictures of the especially beautiful ones.

They spent the next few hours in the park, watching the children play in the grass, the dogs play in patches of sunlight, and their parents making conversation on park benches. Jaune left at one point to get ice cream for them, which was a much appreciated gesture. It melted as fast as they could eat, resulting in sticky hands and dirty chins, though the smiles on their face proved that it was all in good fun and worth every moment of stickiness.

Day eventually turned to night, and Jaune and Ren found themselves once again in Jaune's apartment, the sunset scattering red and pink hues throughout the living room. Jaune made no mention of the fact that Ren was still around, content not to mention it if Ren didn't. With the way the two were spending time together, it was almost an unsaid certainty that Ren would be spending the night again. This time when they entered the bedroom, Jaune glanced at the blankets on the floor and grimaced.

"Do you want to take the bed this time?" Ren asked, poking him in the side. He yelped, shielding himself from further tickles.

"I think I'll take you up on sharing this time. As much as I'd like to be gentlemanly, I don't want to sleep on the floor again." Ren opened his mouth to speak but Jaune cut him off. "And I'm not going to allow you to sleep on the floor. It's uncomfortable, and you're my guest." Ren acquiesced, and without further ado, shrugged off his shirt. Though he tried not to stare, Jaune couldn't help but let his eyes wander over Ren's body, taking in his smooth frame lined with lithe muscles. When Ren looked up Jaune hurriedly looked away and took off his shirt as well.

They faced away from each other once they were under the blankets, and Jaune could feel his bare skin pressed against Ren's, his skin warm to the touch. It was strange, he thought, that somebody that he'd literally met the afternoon before was somebody he already felt comfortable with. He found his eyes drifting closed, comforted by the proximity. "Goodnight Ren, I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight Jaune, thanks for everything today. I had a lot of fun."

"Me too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Secret aaaaaagent maaaan~~~~ Enjoy, yo.**

* * *

The weekend drew to a close all too fast, and Jaune had to return to work. He awoke early on Monday morning next to Ren, who had spent yet another night in his bed. Seeing the sleeping man made him smile - he couldn't remember the last time he'd found something to smile about on a Monday.

He padded throughout the apartment before the sun rose, preparing breakfast for himself and Ren, whose food he placed in the fridge. On the counter he left a small note, apologizing for his absence and for being gone during the mornings, unable to enjoy breakfast together. He left a spare key on the sticky note, a small token to show Ren that he was welcome to his apartment any time. Jaune left a minute later, ready to start the weekly grind, this time with a more upbeat attitude than usual.

* * *

Ren woke up alone, rolling over sleepily only to find Jaune's side of the bed cold. Confusion set in for a brief moment before he realized that the blond had work - he'd be gone for most of the day. He hadn't been alone in the apartment since his arrival, now that he knew Jaune better he felt much more familiar with the space. At the same time, it felt _wrong_ to be in it while Jaune wasn't.

He took his time waking up, padding out to the kitchen after checking the morning news on his scroll, his eyes alighting on a sticky note stuck to the counter. It was scrawled with messy yet legible hand.

 _Dear Ren, I'm sorry I couldn't stick around this morning, but I'm afraid I have work. No rest for the wicked I suppose. I left you breakfast in the fridge, though if it's not to your taste, don't worry! I'll be home at about 5, but maybe later. I don't know what your plans are, but I left you a spare key, feel free to come and go as you wish!_

 _See you later (I hope),_

 _Jaune Arc_

Ren smiled and attached the key to his keyring, then opened the fridge and removed the breakfast Jaune had made for him. Ren had never seen anything quite like it, the food appearing as if Jaune had toasted bread, then drizzled scrambled eggs with cheese over it. Feeling adventurous, Ren heated it. Though he didn't assume Jaune was a five-star chef, the meal was excellent, each ingredient balanced in taste and amount.

Ren got his few things ready in preparation and then left, making sure the door was locked behind him. He walked down the street with purpose, making his way to the nearest busy road before hailing a taxi.

"Take me to the Vale High Council building please," Ren asked. The driver looked somewhat dubious, but drove off anyway. The city passed by in flashes of light, the morning sun glancing off buildings that grew taller and taller until the taxi reached the heart of the city.

"Alright, we're here," called the driver, pulling to a stop in front of the monolithic Vale High Council. That'll be 250 Lien."

"I think this should cover it," Ren replied, passing the driver a solid black banknote. The driver's eyes widened as he took it. "Put it on Councilwoman Yurie's tab." Without further ado, he exited the taxi and walked up to the front doors. Armed security guards stiffened at his approach until he flashed a badge pinned to the inside of his jacket. They immediately relaxed and ushered him through without protest.

Inside, Ren headed for the nearest elevator, waiting until he would be alone before getting in. Checking his scroll and opening a text message, he sighed and placed a palm on his forehead. "Dammit Ozpin," he muttered, pushing buttons consecutively on the console - using it as a keypad rather than selecting a floor - to type the code "69-69-69". The elevator dropped and Ren's ears popped as he descended deep into the earth.

He emerged into a large circular room lined with chairs, half of them filled with various higher-ups and council members. Torches lit the wall in an archaic fashion, contrasting with the futuristic chairs, as if a drunk interior designer had done their worst. Directly across from the entrance in the highest chair sat Ozpin, the gray-haired headmaster of Beacon Academy, one of the most powerful people in the world. He stood from his seat as Ren stopped in the center of the room.

"Special Agent Lie Ren, it's good to see you. Welcome back to the S.V.G.G.C.S."

"Thank you, sir," Ren acknowledged with a slight bow. "I see the council has allowed you to choose the secret door code this week. It's a top-secret combination - would it kill you to choose something more. . . _professional_?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Ozpin said, sipping from his mug. Can I get you some tea?" Ren accepted a steaming cup of red tea before the man continued. "Enough with the formalities. How is your newest assignment? Would you be so kind as to debrief us?"

"That's not how you use "debrief"," Ren sighed.

"Your mind is as sharp as ever, you caught the trap I so cleverly laid," Ozpin said with a twinkle in his eye.

"I don't think that's what happened," Ren muttered under his breath. "Yes," he said more loudly, "I'll begin. I made contact with Jaune Arc two days ago, as per the mission instructions. As you predicted, he didn't suspect that the advertising pamphlet scrap was planted there by us, but seemed to think it was a coincidence. I have to say, that special perfume works well, I thought the rain was going to mask the scent or wash it away. As it happened, Jaune didn't pick up the pamphlet scrap at first, but went inside only to retrieve it later that night."

Ozpin nodded his approval. "Yes, the researchers down in the laboratory did say that the scent was especially powerful. I'm glad to hear that it's working as well as we thought it would. Who knew we'd be able to create an artificial perfume so strong that it stays in the subject's mind and prevents them from ignoring it?"

"I can confidently say that Jaune and I have formed a friendship already; he even made me breakfast this morning," Ren added with a hint of pride. "If I had to evaluate his character, I'd say he's a truly good man - he just needs the benefit of some non-work friends."

"Then he's lucky to have you, and by extension, the S.V.G.G.C.S."

Ren couldn't help but smile at the sentiment. "I think that statement could easily go both ways. Jaune strikes me as a person that would benefit greatly if he could get a new job. There is potential for greatness there, but his work takes away all his time, saps his life away. At the end of it all, he's one of the best men I've met, as far as first impressions go. I can see our friendship lasting for many, many years."

"I'm glad the two of you are so compatible," Ozpin said, fingers folded. Ren shifted his weight from foot to foot as silence filled the room. "Is there. . . anything else?"

"Well. . . I can't say for sure, but there may be something more than friendship blooming between the two of us." Ren corrected himself hastily, "I mean, we've only known each other for three days, but there seems to be far more sexual tension than the average relationship cultivated by the S.V.G.G.C.S."

"I see," Ozpin said slowly. "How does this make you feel? I'll remind you, Special Agent Lie Ren, that if you feel at all uncomfortable or threatened that you need only say the word and I'll remove you from the mission."

"No!" Ren said almost too quickly. "That is, I'd like to see where this goes. Jaune is a kind man, maybe there's something more than mere friendship here. I'm of the mind that something beautiful could happen between us given more time together." Ozpin nodded sagely, taking another long sip of tea.

"Then I'll defer to your judgment. Thank you for debriefing us."

"That's _still_ not how you use that word," Ren sighed, but was startled as Ozpin stood again and joined him in the center of the floor, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

"You've done excellent work, Special Agent Lie Ren. The Secret Vale Government Gentlemanly Companionship Service truly is lucky to have you."

"Thank you, sir," Ren said, humbled. "Well then, by your leave. . ."

 _I have a certain blond to go meet!_


End file.
